The Family Bed

The Family Bed

Jul 13

Fewer things get new parents into an argument faster than a discussion about the “family bed.”  There are two extremes of thought on the topic of letting the baby stay in bed with you. This discussion might be controversial for you.  Above all, it is our hope it will stimulate discussion. Each couple needs to talk through whether the baby should be in the bed of the parents and each couple needs to come to an agreement.  Making these decisions unilaterally has put great strain on many marriages. Parents need to be in agreement on how these issues are to be dealt with and why.

One of the first opportunities for emancipation is when a child leaves his parent’s bed for their own crib/bed… and room.  It is our opinion, for a healthy child, it should be sooner rather than later.  As the child learns that mom and dad are not gone … but are still available, the much needed process of emancipation, and thus independence, begins.   A child obviously cannot be in the parent’s room forever, it would not be healthy for the marriage or for the child.  So parents need to be in agreement as to when and how this transition will happen.  Something to keep in mind is, the longer a couple waits, the more difficult and traumatic the change may be for everyone.

These are family decisions that must be made not out of convenience.  They should be made out of discussion and purpose. This can be one the early childhood development independence training opportunity.  More than anything, both parents have to be ready and prepared for the transition.