Passing On the Great Thanksgiving Gift

What if we’ve completely missed God’s intended purpose of Thanksgiving? What if this is the year we should “do it right” but missed it?

There are great mandates to celebrate by remembering what God has done for us and yet so often we celebrate the “celebration” and forget the intended purpose.  The Lord’s Supper is a perfect example.  So often you can take part in the Lord’s Supper at church and totally forget to do the work of doing it “in remembrance of Him.”

Thanksgiving is another example.  The first Thanksgiving celebration was a time of thanking God.  It was a great time to refocus.  The pilgrims spent a year of incredible loss and starvation and yet they gathered together to focus on what they had, rather than what they had lost.  They refocused.

This had to be a great lesson for the children because many had lost one of their parents during that first harsh winter to sickness.  Yet, the remaining adults decided, certain under God’s direction, to look instead at was God was doing for them.

In this economy, with job uncertainly, it would be naïve to think the children around you aren’t worried about what the future holds.  Certainly God is directing us to use this Thanksgiving to get back to its intended purpose; the giving of thanks to God.

As parents, it should not escape our notice that Thanksgiving appears on our calendar providentially before Christmas. What if we used the Thanksgiving meal as a time to discuss what we’re going to do as a family to give thanks at Christmas?  What if we focused less on making lists of what we want and more effort on making a list of want to do’s for others… in the name of Christ… as His birthday gift from us?

Let’s use this Thanksgiving to refocus our family.  Let’s use this Thanksgiving as a time to remember the blessings we have been given.  The fact that we live in a great country, the fact that we have options for food, the fact that….  Well, get the children to build a list.  Make it a contest.  Spend the week of Thanksgiving competing over who can come up with the most blessings our Father has given to us.

Once the focus has become one of thankfulness instead of greediness, take the next step.  Who can come up with the best way we as a family can express our gratitude.  What can we do to say thank you to Jesus?

What will this do?  It could start a new family tradition but more than that it will take the focus off of “me” and put the focus on others.  It’s amazing how my world gets bigger and brighter when I’m not in the center of it.

How many parents wished they could help their children not be so self-centered?  How many parents today wish they knew how to help their children stop being so materialistic?  This is the chance we’ve all been waiting for.

Thanksgiving wasn’t started by the “Turkey Lobby.”  Motivated by God, in 1621, Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared a harvest fest, acknowledged as the first Thanksgiving celebration.  They saw a need to focus on what their people had rather than morn what they had lost.  The Pilgrims, having experienced great tragedy and hardship, celebrated that week.  They celebrated and gave thanks to God, focusing on what they had.  They reminded themselves that as bad as it was they had fared far better than their Jamestown counterparts.

Use thanksgiving to get ready for the best Christmas ever.  Table talk: What can we do for others this Christmas?   By doing this, you will be teaching the most difficult and yet greatest lesson: It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Don’t waddle away from this year’s Thanksgiving table stuffed with turkey, instead walk away stuffed with the joy of gratitude and a focus on others.  You will be giving your children a gift they will treasure forever.  The gift of giving!

Exciting Changes!!

You may have noticed that there have been some changes in the Parenting Today blog.  We have had the opportunity to merge two formats in order to get more tools out to parents.  In addition to the written blog there will also be a podcast of a daily radio show done by Dr. Bob Barnes and hosted by Ruthie J.   You will want to subscribe so you can receive the blog and podcast daily by email!

Communication Blocker – Impatience

The final blocker this week is one that we all have to deal with at one time or another.  It is impatience.  This is an emotion that can sometimes be avoided if we are simply more organized and not having to rush everywhere.   But ultimately patience is a Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22), which means that it is not something that we come by naturally.

When we are impatient with our children for whatever reason we can more easily brush off what they are saying and not truly listen to them.   If we get in a pattern of impatience it can cause them to clam up and either turn elsewhere to be listened to or internalize everything.  Both of these are bad especially when it is our job to make them feel loved and valued.

Choose to be patient with your children.  Make sure that you are spending time communicating with God.  Only through His strength can you be patient through any frustration, and communicate to your children not only your love for them but ultimately His!

Communication Blockers – Peers

There is another area that can become a blocker for teaching positive communication and that can be a child’s peers.  Peers can be a positive practicing tool for communication, but if peers are the only place our children are learning how to communicate it can be detrimental.  If we as a family are not placing an emphasis on communication then our kids will have to learn somewhere.  Peers can also end up being a listening substitute for your child.  This means that if your child doesn’t feel listened to at home they will search for a place where they feel that acceptance.  One of the ways we can make our child feel valued and accepted at home is simply by listening to them.

A second way that peers can be a blocker for positive communication is if they are a negative influence on your child.  Issues with attitude and negativity can rub off on our children if we are not careful.  As parents we need to take the time to get to know the people who can also have a big influence on our children, their friends.

August 27

Communication Blockers – Technology

Another blocker for teaching communication, ironically, can be technology.  One of the things that technology is supposed to do is make it easier for everyone to communicate.  In fact through things like facebook and twitter we can be updated on even the small details of what is going on in each other’s lives.  Through texting we can discreetly communicate small snippets of information.  Even email has replaced most interoffice communication and the need for buying stamps.  But with the need for instant communication we may be loosing the personal touch which comes with face to face communication.  There was a time when you wouldn’t think of telling something important over the phone because it was too impersonal.  Now we blast our important announcements over the social networks and twitter.

We need to be careful through all of this that our children don’t miss out on being taught how to communicate properly.  If the only way they are learning to communicate is through text and tweets, they are seriously missing out.  You cannot have a deeply heartfelt conversation about emotions through this venue.  That training takes lots of time given by mom and dad.  Make sure there are times of your day where there are “no cell phones allowed”, so your family can communicate to each other with some good old fashioned talking!

Communication Blockers – The TV

Yesterday we discussed how busy the day to day family life can be.  We need to make each day count and not just live for the weekend or those vacation days.  So often it is easy to pass the time or just attempt to relax in front of the TV.  But this is another thing that can become a communication blocker if we don’t set up boundaries around it.

It can be a fun family night to pop popcorn and have a movie night.  We cannot however depend on the television to be our only source of family entertainment.  The family obviously won’t be communicating if they are all zoned out in front of the TV.  Have a family game night when every one is done with their homework or think of another fun activity where the family can interact.

Another place the TV should not be allowed is the dinner table.  Dinner can be a great segue from the craziness of everyone’s day into the relaxation of the evening.  But if the TV is on, even in the background, it will distract everyone from talking about their day.