Training Your Children How To Set Goals | Part 2
Jan 03
The Discipline of Goal Setting Must Be Trained
Children are not born patient, as many parents of toddlers can attest. They want things immediately and for some if they do not receive what they want, a temper tantrum will follow. If we as parents know that we have to train our children to be patient why is it hard to train our children to have goals?
Goal setting, just like training in most areas, is time consuming and takes effort. Some times it is so much easier to do things for our children rather then help them set up the goal for themselves. While it may be easier to allow them to “learn the hard way” if they procrastinate on a school project, or jump in at the last minute and rescue your child, neither is the best choice. The best thing to do is to get involved from the beginning and help your child manage the goal of a good grade on the school report.
There is another area where we as parents may have to exhibit more self-control and allow our children to learn the lesson of patience and goal setting and that is through helping them with finances. It is prudent to not purchase for your child everything their heart desires but allow them the lesson of saving for themselves. We will discuss this area of goal setting in more detail tomorrow.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your children to set goals.
Training Your Children How To Set Goals | Part 1
Jan 02
What Exactly is Goal Setting?
There is an old saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” This applies to helping our children with goals. The goals of a child will vary greatly by their age. Younger children will need to be helped not only to reach goals, but even to establish and set goals. Just like teaching the lesson of time management or saving money, this is a very important lesson to teach this generation because society is so instant gratification driven.
For younger children it may be helping them with the goal of keeping a clean room. For older kids the goal may be making a sports team, playing an instrument or making a grade. For teens keeping the focus on the goal of college or career path is important.
One of the ways we can do this is by being transparent about a goal we have set for ourselves. It can be as simple as loosing the few extra holiday pounds, eating healthier or saving for something we want. It would be easy for children to believe that adults can have anything they want, so it is good to allow them to see us accomplish our goals.
It is important to set your children up for future success and helping them set and achieve goals early on is one way to do this!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your children to set goals.
The Discipline of Change | Part 5
Dec 30
Why This Process is So Important
Through out parenting we have to remember that it is about the process not the end result. Teaching our child how to have the discipline to make changes is very important even if the fall short of the original goal. It is more about the process and discipline. For those of us who are more end result type people it may help us to focus on why it is so important for our children to learn this discipline. Why is this such an important exercise.
We have developed such a “victim mentality” in our culture today. Victims think that it is “not my fault”. This is “just the way I am”. I am this way because this happened to me or my parents… Now while it is true our past tends to shape who we are and many in today’s society have been through some horrible things. At some point we do begin to make decisions for ourselves and we have to be responsible for those choices. Many have been so caught up in a destructive pattern that they ultimately don’ know how to change. This is not something that a parent wants to watch their child go through. That is why it is so imperative that we help our children learn the discipline of change. Being able to see the things/areas in their own lives that may need to be worked on and be able to have the discipline to make the changes necessary in their lives.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
The Discipline of Change | Part 4
Dec 29
Cheer Your Children Into Change
First we start out by identifying the area that we need to change. In our children’s case we help them to process an area to work on. Utilize the family discussion that we mentioned earlier, processing what we would do differently if we were allowed a do over from the previous year.
Next we can teach by example. Which is why it is so valuable to do this together as a family. Be open with your children about what you are going to do work on. Then allow them to observe your personal self discipline as your work toward your goal.
Next we have to find the fine line between helping our children and nagging them. For instance, if your child has decided that they want to do better at keeping their room clean, don’t consistently ask when are you going to clean your room. Even worse would be using their goal as a weapon, “Remember you said you wanted to do better this year in this area.” Help them with the how to’s of achieving the goal, such as going up to their room ten minutes early to straighten before bed.
We next have to decide to be our child’s biggest fan. Find something to cheer about everyday. When you walk by them straightening their room encourage them, even if you are thinking “finally!” Cheer if they remember on their own to head up to their room ten minutes early.
Finally we have to allow for day’s of failure. We all have bad days and we all have days where we are going to mess up. That’s ok! Help your child to pick themselves back up the next day and try again. Don’t let them give up on their goal!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
The Discipline of Change | Part 3
Dec 28
Being Moldable
Each age group has different areas to work on. I have heard an illustration pertaining to raising children that I believe fits for goal setting. Raising children is like pouring cement for a foundation. (their life’s foundation) Early childhood/elementary school you are pouring the cement or setting up rules boundaries, guidelines. Teaching them things like “no means no”. By middle school the cement is poured but is still fluid. The kind you can move around with a shovel. By high school age the cement is starting to set it is thicker but still impressionable. Adulthood is where you have to crack it to move it around. (Why it is harder for us to change unless we have been consistently open to change and things we need to work on in our lives. Allowing ourselves to be moldable.)
This is what we need to think about as we are guiding our children through the process of learning the discipline of change. We don’t want to become so set in our ways that we cannot be teachable and moldable for what God has for us. Being set in their ways or having the “well that’s just who I am mentality” doesn’t make someone very easy to be married to or have as an employee.
Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of resolutions.
