The 30 Imperatives of Parenting #6
Oct 25
#6 The Potential Cracks In The Walls – Don’t Get Derailed By Childish Outbursts
There are a few things that can make a parent feel guilty and even give in at times to their child’s behavior/desires. The first is temper tantrums. When a toddler is told no or doesn’t get their way and throws a fit, it is very tempting as a parent to give in and allow the child to have what they want. It seems so much easier short term to give in and attempt to preserve peace and not have to deal with the temper on top of saying no. However, this is detrimental in the long run and you are actually training your toddler to throw a tantrum to get their way.
A second thing that can derail a parent is the “that’s not fair” comment. Again if you are not careful you can allow that comment to cause you to question your decision. If you are consistent in your parenting and are giving out consequences consistently for behaviors then you have no reason to question. The old parenting adage must apply, “say what you mean and mean what you say.” If you are not being consistent in your consequences then it isn’t fair to your children because they don’t know what to expect.
Always keep in mind that we are raising children, not mini adults, we should have the expectation that they will act like children!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
The 30 Imperatives of Parenting #5
Oct 24
#5- Potential Cracks In The Walls- Understand That Every Child Is Different
One thing that is important for every parent to grasp is the fact that every child is different. Every child will have a different personality, energy level as well as what motivates them. Even gender plays a big part in children’s differences. In order to create a successful parenting, especially discipline, plan it is important to understand these things about your child. There are things about children in general that are always effective parenting approaches, such as a schedule and consistency, but there are also things that we cannot take a cookie cutter approach too.
Rewards seem like one of these issues. For example, in the residential homes at Sheridan House if a resident does perfectly on their school report for five days in a row they earn a lunch out off campus. This is something that is applicable and enjoyed by both genders. On the girls campus a reward for hitting a certain points level is getting to go and get a manicure. This is obviously not something that would be as exciting for the boys so they have a reward that applies to them.
Make sure to take the time to process through your children’s differences, some children are more motivated by the consequence for bad behavior and some are more motivated by the reward for good behavior. The “pleaser” child for example is devastated by doing the wrong thing and can be more motivated by the consequence. The “barbarian” child can see the consequence almost as a challenge to be tested and may be more motivated by the reward for doing the right thing.
For more insight on this topic listen to today’s podcast.
The 30 Imperatives of Parenting #4
Oct 21
#4- Potential Cracks In The Wall- Impulse Control
One thing that can cause a life to not be secure is a lack of self-control. Not being able to control ones impulses has vast consequences from affairs to self-inflicted financial problems. This is why from an early age it is imperative that we teach our children how to control their impulses. The slogan “you want it, you got it” is not a very wise way to live life. For more on this very important topic check out our week long series “Teaching Impulse Control” by clicking here.
Check out today’s podcast, as well, for more insight.
The 30 Imperatives of Parenting #3
Oct 20
#3 – The Walls- The Power of No
When we train our children that our “no” means “no” everytime, no exeption, we place boundaries around them. It gives them a sense of security that there is a constant. If we are not consistent with no or they are able to negotiate their way out of no, then there is ultimately a sense of frustration that our children feel. Think about how many times at various sports games how frustrating it is when the referee or official is inconsistent in their calls. Then the rules of the game don’t really matter. It is the same in our homes.
Check out our whole series on “The Power of No” by clicking here.
As always listen to our podcast for more insight on the power of no and how it is one of those 30 parenting imperatives!
The 30 Imperatives of Parenting # 2
Oct 19
#2 – The Foundation Of Life
One of the things that is extremely important to how secure a building is, is its foundation. If there is a crack or it is not a secure foundation then the building will not stand. The first major storm or winds and it will shift or crumble. It is the same with our children. What we lay as the foundation for living is equally important. That needs to be our relationship with God.
We want our children’s faith to stand the tests and the temptations when they leave our home. The number of youth group kids that leave church after they graduate high school is staggering, research shows it is anywhere from 65-94%. Why? Because there is not a firm foundation built. Church becomes just a way of life or something to do, they miss that a relationship with God is something that the entirety of life is built on. Make sure that you as a family are making that a priority in your home. Check out the series that we did recently about how to cultivate your child’s relationship with God, by clicking here.
Take the time to set your child’s life up on a firm foundation!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
