Communication Blockers – Technology

Another blocker for teaching communication, ironically, can be technology.  One of the things that technology is supposed to do is make it easier for everyone to communicate.  In fact through things like facebook and twitter we can be updated on even the small details of what is going on in each other’s lives.  Through texting we can discreetly communicate small snippets of information.  Even email has replaced most interoffice communication and the need for buying stamps.  But with the need for instant communication we may be loosing the personal touch which comes with face to face communication.  There was a time when you wouldn’t think of telling something important over the phone because it was too impersonal.  Now we blast our important announcements over the social networks and twitter.

We need to be careful through all of this that our children don’t miss out on being taught how to communicate properly.  If the only way they are learning to communicate is through text and tweets, they are seriously missing out.  You cannot have a deeply heartfelt conversation about emotions through this venue.  That training takes lots of time given by mom and dad.  Make sure there are times of your day where there are “no cell phones allowed”, so your family can communicate to each other with some good old fashioned talking!

Communication Blockers – The TV

Yesterday we discussed how busy the day to day family life can be.  We need to make each day count and not just live for the weekend or those vacation days.  So often it is easy to pass the time or just attempt to relax in front of the TV.  But this is another thing that can become a communication blocker if we don’t set up boundaries around it.

It can be a fun family night to pop popcorn and have a movie night.  We cannot however depend on the television to be our only source of family entertainment.  The family obviously won’t be communicating if they are all zoned out in front of the TV.  Have a family game night when every one is done with their homework or think of another fun activity where the family can interact.

Another place the TV should not be allowed is the dinner table.  Dinner can be a great segue from the craziness of everyone’s day into the relaxation of the evening.  But if the TV is on, even in the background, it will distract everyone from talking about their day.

T-Minus 2 “Relationship Management”

In the previous months we have discussed the topic of dating in great detail.  As we look at our final checklist for launching our children into adulthood this area needs to be addressed again.  There are several issues with dating that can come up for the college student if they have not been trained how to process through them before hand.

We need to help our kids learn how to properly balance relationships.   Some teens really struggle with the concept that relationships are only one aspect of their lives.   When they become all consumed by a relationship the other areas of their lives begin to suffer.  If teens do not learn how to balance relationships  there can be drastic consequences as adults.

A second area that we need to help our kids with before they leave our home is knowing boundaries with the opposite sex.  Again like we have talked about in great detail in past months, the consequences for casual sex in today’s culture can be devastating.   Because of this we need to spend lots of time with our kids on this area so that by the time they leave our house they are well prepared.

Children Are A Gift

Like many aspects of parenting, the preparing your child for independence is a process.  It may help us as parents to take a proper perspective which allows for the continual process of letting go.  If we do not have proper perspective each stage can be painful.

We need to constantly remember that our children have been entrusted to us.  God has given us these years to raise our children but ultimately they are His children.  Psalms 127, reminds us that children are a gift from God. 

Keeping this concept at the forefront of our minds will help with allowing our child the independence they need as well as help us focus on our job of parenting.  When we know whose our kids are ultimately it will help us continue to do our best in parenting. Think about how you would respond if you were to have the children of the President in your home.  How much more of an amazing responsibility and privilege to have been entrusted with the children of the Creator of the Universe!

Choosing To Have No Regrets

Why is it important to strive for a godly family?  All around us we see broken lives … many broken at the hands of family.  Not even the extreme cases of pain, such as abuse, but even the mild cases of children and teens whose parents have placed their own needs above the good of the family.  Although our children will not know how to verbalize it, what they really want and need is involved parents and a strong family unit. They want our time and a relationship.  They want to know that they are loved and valued unconditionally.  So many parents today are putting the pursuit of the “American Dream” above the needs of their children.  Many think that once they get that house, promotion or enough in savings, they can stop and spend more time at home.  But we can’t go back and make up for lost experiences.  A child only lives each day once. Do not miss out on your children’s lives because you will not get a do over with them.  Take advantage of this summer by putting the pursuit of family first.  This is a hard thing to focus on especially in today’s economy.  Fast forward and imagine you are sitting at your child’s graduation.  With your current lifestyle, what do you think you will wish you had done with your children?  Make the course correction now so you sit at their graduation with few or no regrets. God will provide and protect us but it is our job to have our priorities in place!