My Child Seems So Angry | Part 2
Feb 01
Why Deal with Temper Tantrums?
There are many emotions that a parent can go through in the few minutes their child is having a temper tantrum, fear, helplessness, embarrassment, frustration, exhaustion, even anger. It is so important that the first thing we do, no matter what the age of our child, is gain control of our emotions. Temper tantrums need to be dealt with in a calm controlled manner in order to help our children process through the emotional outburst.
We need to bear in mind that tantrums are signal behavior. We need to deal with the outward manifestation of the emotion because this is obviously not appropriate behavior for an adult in a work environment. With a toddler a temper tantrum may simply be they are not getting their way and are struggling to handle the disappointment and frustration. For an older child or teen, an outburst, over-reaction, or slamming around is usually a sign that something deeper is going on. This is a good time to get them out of the environment, maybe go for a walk, to discuss what is really going on that would make them react that way. Like we talked about yesterday it may be a result of a change in the house or simply something bad that happened at school. Part of what we need to instill in our children before they leave our home is impulse control. The Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger, do not sin.” This is such an important lesson to train our children. We will all feel the emotion of anger it’s what we do with it that counts.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on anger in children.
Talking Back With Your Feet
Sep 04
Every Saturday my children had chores. No one was excited about doing these chores. No one ever went to bed on Friday night cheering that tomorrow was chore day. My daughter Torrey’s chore was to clean the bathroom she and her brother shared. There were ten things in that bathroom that had to be done.
The plan was, when the job was completed, she would stay upstairs and call us to come and inspect. Instead, Torrey continually came down stairs and said, “You can go look at the bathroom now. It’s done.”
It was never done completely. After inspecting, we would have to call her back upstairs to point out what one thing wasn’t finished. It would have been easier to just let it go but we weren’t trying to get a job done, we were trying to get the training done.
Why doesn’t my child throw a “temper tantrum” when their father is around?
Sep 03
I walked in the front door and heard screams coming from the kitchen. Our eight-year-old daughter wasn’t getting what she wanted, and was determined to make life miserable for my wife. When I walked into the kitchen everything stopped!
I asked my daughter to go and sit on the couch and Rosemary (my wife) and I sat at the kitchen table. Rosemary looked exhausted and she asked the question, “Why doesn’t Torrey (our daughter) throw tantrums when you are not here? What am I doing wrong?”
Dealing with Temper Tantrums
Sep 02
Yesterday we looked at the mom who was defeated and embarrassed by her child’s temper tantrum. While checking out at Blockbuster, her four year old son discovered the candy aisle. When he was told “No” that he could not have candy, he threw himself on the floor, and screamed loud enough to get the attention of everyone in the store. After several more “No’s” and attempts to get the child to stand up, the mom gave in and let him have the candy. The crying stopped immediately, but the child’s behavior was validated for the future. If you want to get mom’s “No” turned into a “Yes” throw a temper tantrum!
What could she have done?
Temper Tantrums
Sep 01
It was a glass breaking scream and it came from the front of the Blockbuster store. I looked toward the direction the scream came from and saw a humiliated mom caving into her four year old little boy. Unfortunately, when this mom took their rental to the counter she passed by a perfectly placed candy section. Apparently the child did the logical thing … to him anyway. He reached for the candy he wanted. When the mom said, “No,” the child fell on the floor kicking and screaming. Broken and disappointed by not getting his way, the four-year-old did what he had been taught to do to get his way. He had a temper tantrum!
Why do children have temper tantrums? Initially children yell and scream when they don’t get their way because they are children. The disappointment of hearing the word “No” is too overwhelming for a child.
