The How To’s of Listening | Part 5
Aug 19
Listening and The Dinner Table
Like we discussed yesterday teaching children how to listen using their siblings can be a great training ground for the future in work and peer relationships. One place to put this into practice is the dinner table. Creating family dinner discussion rules can help. Such as only one person talks at a time or we finish discussing one thing before the next is brought up. This is an area that we need to lead by example.
Another fun thing that can be done at the family dinner table is to create a listening game. You can have each child tell the family one thing that they learned from someone else that day. Whether it was at school, home or even each other. This can help create an atmosphere of listening. On Sunday’s you can have your children tell you one thing that they heard in Sunday school or small group and one thing they remember the pastor saying. This will also begin to train them to listen in a big group setting. If you make it into a game you may be surprised at the things that your children come away with!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
The How To’s of Listening | Part 3
Aug 17
Where is Your Front Porch
Yesterday we talked about training children to listen by taking the time to hear what they have to say. There are other places that we can listen by example as well. A child often observes how mom and dad interact. In fact how we live out our marriage will have a direct impact on the future marriages of our children.
One of the things that is easy for a child to observe is how their parents communicate. Do they see communication that builds or tears down? What do they observe when their parents disagree? Most of all do they see their parents listening to each other?
Before the age of television families could be seen sitting on their front porches enjoying the evening after dinner. Maybe the children were playing in the front yard while their parents sat and enjoyed each other’s company. The important thing about this was not just the time spent as a family but the fact that children could daily watch their parents interact and communicate. So the question for today is where is your front porch?
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
The How To’s of Listening | Part 2
Aug 16
Listening By Example
There are many things that we teach our children by simply showing them how to do it. One of the most important and sometimes difficult things about parenting is that we must always be aware there are little eyes watching everything we do. This means our words and actions need to match up.
Practically, other then instructing your children to “listen to mommy/daddy”, how do we teach listening? We can first be an example to our children in how to listen. This, however,is not always as easy as it sounds. Do we find ourselves absently answering a child’s question without really listening to what they are saying? Are there ever times that we assess a situation and make up our minds about what happened without listening to our children? That is just in everyday situations, when a child is acting out listening can become even more difficult. We need to remember to be intentional because our children will learn how to listen from how we listen to them.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
The How To’s of Listening | Part 1
Aug 15
Listening
Many times when you think of listening it seems like a passive activity but listening is an action verb. It is not only something that you do but it is something that you do very intentionally. It is a choice. Listening takes hearing a step farther. When a person is communicating, you are not only hearing the words that are coming out of their mouth but becoming engaged in what they are saying. It involves not just your ears but mind as well. We need to practice something called active listening. This means that our whole body is communicating that we are listening as well. We are facing our children, looking them in the eyes and attempting to understand what they are saying. It is hard to train what we do not practice. When a child feels listened to they will tend to be more and more communicative. The reverse is also true, if a child feels brushed off or absently dismissed it can cause them to clam up. So as we are training our children to listen we as adults need to remember it is a choice but one that will ultimately help to make your child feel valued!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
Sibling Rivalry | Part 5
Jul 15
Sibling Rivalry and Personalities
There are many aspects of parenting where our children’s different personalities may have an affect. Sibling rivalry can be one of those areas. If you have a child who is very sensitive you may be tempted to rescue them whenever they get their feelings hurt. This may not help them in the long run, however. If our job is to train our child for adulthood we may need to help our sensitive child learn how to cope. There are obviously times we need to step in when picking on each other goes too far. When our sensitive child gets their feelings hurt we may just need to take some time to talk them through it. Many times they are getting picked on because of their reaction. Teaching them how to cope will help them not only in the school years but also help them to not wear their feelings on their sleeve as adults.
The other child we can take extra time with is the child who is our leader. Our goal should be training up all of our children to be future leaders but our first-born has been naturally placed in this role. We can start allowing them areas of leadership. As the oldest they will have more privileges then their siblings as they grow, so their responsibilities will grow as well. Having a sense of ownership in their leadership role will help with the sibling rivalry we just have to guide them.
Take the time to come up with a plan for the different personalities in your home.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on sibling rivalry.
